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I gotta take a little time Time to look around me Got nothing left to hide Now this mountain I must climb Feels like a dead weight upon my shoulders These clouds they hide The happiness Im looking for in life These waves of emotion Are flowing and flowing Never knowing where theyre going Im being drowned alive by my own fantasies I have a world all my own A place where I run and hide My fantasies of happiness and love Maybe will someday become a reality I want to know what it means to be happy I want to know what it means to be alive Im dying slowly inside Cursed by my own demise Slowly dying, Ive stopped trying I just continue crying Soon Ill be gone Alive no more The other side I will explore Maybe then Ill be happy So please, when I die, dont cry for me Instead, smile and laugh For then I will finally have what I never had; Inner peace Youre all so pathetic All so fucked You dont understand, people like us Were different Were unique We cant be everything you want us to be We dont know what you expect of us Were just trying to make it in this fucked world Were just looking for where we belong Where were meant to be You all think were strange You tell us that were weird But what does normal mean anyways? Were not the fucked up ones You just need to have an open mind Learn to accept us for who we are Instead of closing your minds and ripping us apart Tunnel vision doesnt work here Just accept us for who we are You all think youre so fuckin special With the perfect bodies The perfect faces Beauty comes in flaws Remember this well The weird ones could be the ones who save you from all hell Perfection is a flaw Guess this means youre fucked Well, welcome to the real world Enjoy, thats it, Im done. | | |
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Putting my trust takes so much out of me I dont now who to trust anymore Its like youve taken everything from the inside And thrown it all away Tension is building inside I feel so far away from me Im trying not to break, but Im so tired of this disease I try to get back up on my feet But putting my trust in you takes so much from me I dont know why I even try I just fall back down Trying doesnt seem worth it Ive been wasting myself on you and your excuses Youve taken from the inside And thrown it all away, and I sware for the last time I wont trust anyone anymore I hate you, I hate you all So numb, so cold, these insides are no more Im sick of trying Sick of trying to make it work Im sick of living Im sick of being here Im sick of being hurt Betrayed and left to bleed Caught in the undertone You dont see me Im sick of this pain Im sick of having to go through it again and again Im going to end it all, right here, right now Someway, somehow Im leaving tonight, I dont think Ill return Maybe if I live alone, I wont lay out in the open Torn, and bleeding Betrayed, and hurting Confused, and alone I want to go home Why the hell do you yell at me? What on earth did I do wrong? Over me, you have no authority On the inside, my hate grows strong Everyday, it seems in ever way My happiness you rape Your voice, it slices through my soul It's battered, torn, and bent out of shape I haven't slept in 3 damn days These eyes of mine, they're dark with wasted sleep I'm so sick of your hateful ways Inside the malice for you runs deep I still love you, don't get me wrong But everyday, to me, you sing a hateful song You know it's true, I would not be here if not for you Help me end my mental pain I do not want to cut again The things I say, the things I do You sit there, question and ridicule I am not evil, no I am not a freak You ruin my peace with hateful speak Full of hate and sickly desire Searching for a place to put out this fire Are you my parent, or just a scheming bitch? Your heart, I know is loving, but it looks black as pitch. Forsaken I feel the light, swallowing my insides Why run, when there is no where to hide? I take this razor blade, slice it across my wrist Creating a picture, as the blood starts to flow As I sit hear, I want to release all the pain I dont understand I sit here, and slice the razor blade across the palm of my hand Its like a temporary release An escape from this unknown disease My body begins to feel the pleasant pain All I am is just a forgotten soul Something left behind Something maybe undefined I wish I could have released all these suppressed cries But now, I have met my eternal demise My soul is lost If life is like this I would choose death at no cost A forgotten soul, that is all I am Here I sit, in a conflict with death and the essence of my soul I slit my wrist again My mind it becomes full of bliss These evil thoughts continue to run through my head I sit here and draw another picture Its a picture with a twist Drawn with a razor blade Drawn upon my wrist Soon, a fountain begins to appear With this fountain of blood, all my problems seem to disappear But I am still just a forgotten soul My insides have become so cold The light, it blinds me I choose to live in darkness, alone and unafraid These thoughts continue to linger in my head As I slice the razor blade, yet again, across my wrist I am not afraid to die The best things in life seem to drive me to cry I crucify my life I am led to believe Led to conceive Look at my face Its filled with dismay Scared to go on to the next day My inner feelings Lack of inner pride To touch upon my surface Is not what it may seem This razor blade will take away my problems If only in my dreams Still, I am just a forgotten soul Somebody left behind Searching for a place to go, a place to go unwind A place where I can live among my kind People that think as I do in my mind I slice this razor blade across my wrist, yet again Another picture forms not only on my wrist but in my head Life has betrayed me, this is all done in vein So I slice the razor blade across my wrist again Filling me with pleasant pain
Sometimes I think of letting go and never looking back Sometimes I hate this love that Im in lack Im constantly hit by a pain attack Sometimes I wish I could just run away Get away from it all, run away today Watch me walk away, and take back myself I cant be what you want me to be, Im not perfect Why wont you see? Time has been what you want me to be Dont know what youre expecting of me Im caught in the undertone I feel afraid and alone Every step I take is just a mistake Im becoming this, all I want is to be more like me and less like you Youre smothering me, holding too tightly, afraid to lose control Everything you want me to be is falling apart right in front of your eyes My life is just a mistake to you Im just numb, and cold I just want to be me, not like you I know you are just like me Cant you see, Im just someone disappointing you Im becoming this I cant be what you want me to be, I can only be me Ive become so numb, so cold, hollow on the inside Its just easier to run Sometimes I wish I wasnt haunted by the darkness of my past Happiness is something I never had Something cant stop all this pain and the thoughts attached to them I think of how I shot myself in the back again, You put all my pain on a display I took what I hated and made it a part of me Youve become a part of me And Ive let myself become you. Trapped in this mask of my own creation Still here, living out my damnation I cant feel nothing, Im so numb Walked on and spit on like some crumb I feel like Im not there in this cruel world In this full existence People stare, then look away And Im left in the glare I spend my life, trying I cant stop your lying You step on me You break my mask Now these emotions I must show Now Im exposed Pure emotion I must face Seeing what I thought I could ignore Now all I hear is them laughing at me Now they see me cry They see me bleed I cant live this way I just give up Ill drown in my own sorrow Never to breathe again Fixed in silence I cant stand this violence Every day Im in pain Crying out, why do I have to go through this again? I look at all of you Youre so fake How much more of this can I take? You lie to each other through silver lips Its like an addiction, you cant quit With hardened hearts, you hate one another We all are guilty of this We want what we dont have And we take what we dont need Deceiving ourselves this way We trick and cheat each other Because its easier to deceive than believe We wear a smile, but all the while fain perfection Hide from our reflection Lying even to ourselves Because a lie is easier to believe than the truth We poison our veins with envy and greed Society is full of gluttons and full of haste Oh, what a waste You ponder evil, talk about God, promote hypocritical religion in haste With a smile upon your face You feign grace You feign virtue You are blind to all that is before you Youre all the same Same face Same name I will never conform To your social norm The obsession The oppression How can you breathe? Knowing it is all lies you conceive Lying to each other Fake smiles upon your face Oh, what a waste. Untitled I've got a problem. I'm a little crazy. Can you help me maybe? No, nevermind, I don't need your ass lecturing and criticizing me. I'm a little angry, I'm a little confused. Pretty soon I'm gonna blow my fuse. I'm a little fucked up, a little cold. My mind you'll never get a hold. I hate you, I hate you all. I'm gonna stand proud, Im gonna stand tall. Ignore the insults you say to me. I'm gonna go sit in this corner In this hole, so please, leave me alone. Look in these eyes, full of pain Look in these eyes of mine, can you see me crying? Look in these eyes, look into my soul You'll see things you never thought you'd know Look in this soul of mine, you'll see yourself Look through the pain, look through the hurt, you'll see I just want tp be in peace Yes, I'm angry, yes I fight Sure I act like I don't give a fuck It's just a cover up I don't want to show my true feelings, don't want to show the pain I'm feeling Sure I flip you off, sure I piss you off I'm sorry if I'm not the one you want me to be I'm sorry that I'm not perfect Im sorry Im a bit of a trouble maker, but Im just trying to make it in this fucked up world Trying to understand all these fucked up feelings I feel inside Still, my hurt feelings I try to hide Understand Im just a lost kid Looking for the right path Searching for light But still these fucked up feelings I will always hide Look in these eyes; baby blue sometimes green Look in these eyes, full of pain Look in these eyes of mine, can you see me crying? Look in these eyes, look into my soul You'll see things you never thought you'd know Look in this soul of mine, you'll see yourself Look through the pain, look through the hurt, you'll see I just want to be in peace Yes, I'm angry, yes I fight Sure I act like I don't give a fuck It's just a cover up I don't want to show my true feelings, don't want to show the pain I'm feeling Sure I flip you off, sure I piss you off I'm sorry if I'm not the one you want me to be I'm sorry that I'm not perfect Addicted to this life I live, drugs to soothe me, all alone and crying, when is this feeling gonna end? Feels like I'm dying I can feel the numbness in me running throought out my body, voices in my head telling me to hurt everybody, I must resist, thats the hardest thing to do. ~~~~CHORUS~~~~~ LIFE......full of shattered dreams LIFE......feels like a bad dream LIFE.......It's not what it seems LIFE.......Just isn't for me Leave me here alone, can't trust my self alone. I tell you my self to trust in me, don't trust me I I'm about to lose it, I will never lose control. ~~~SCREAMS~~~~ CAN'T TAKE THIS LIFE I LEAD gonna hate my self tonight til I kill my world ~~~~~CHORUS~~~~ Everything in my life is a fucking lie just leave me here to die. Leaving this shit hole doesn't seem so wrong how much longer I going to be laying here in peices? I follow this road called life, leads me to knowhere but confusion at the end it's always closed off keeping me from reaching a turning point in my life. ~~~~~CHORUS~~~~~~ I wish god wouldn't let my world fall apart, I'm tired of living with a shattered heart. My body is so cold, face numb, eyes red, when it comes back I"M GONNA FUCKING SNAP. I just lose control when I feel insecure. Am I the only one who can fix this? If so we all know I'm not gonna be able to. JUST GO AWAY LEAVE ME LAYING HERE. I know you say I will be ok....... but you make me sick, I will only bring you down when your lifted so I'm asking you to please let me be here, hoping this will all fade away, I CAN'T GO ON KNOWING I"M ALREADY DEAD ON THE INSIDES so just let me lay here and let this fuck me up even more inside Depression, if only it would go away It makes me wonder why I live life this way Why I go from day to day Trying to look for the light But the darkness just pulls me back Pain consumes me And I want to escape Not worth the breath of life I wonder why Im even here Life was just a mistake Just a face lost in the crowd Screaming so loud But its like no one hears I wipe away these tears But more fall Trying so hard to be strong But a silent tear is all I have to show I dont want to face this pain anymore I want to lock myself away from all the world Im so confused Sick of life Sick of the pain Sick of going through this shit from day to day Why must I live life this way? Guess Ill never know Silent tears are all I have to show
Can you hear my screams? Can you hear me crying? I regret all this pain Ive been denying Hes all that I have All that I need Dont take him away from me Faced with so many obstacles life put before me His sweet face is all I wish to see I was so lonesome I could die So afraid, I was always crying So depressed, I was contemplating the worst Then he came along, he sang a sweet song Put a smile on my face, showed me love So please dont take him away from me His smile is all I wish to see Can you hear me screaming? Dont take him away from me Hes broken and Im far away Cure my tragedy Dont take him away from me Wont you take and give his pain to me? I cant take this anymore My whole life Ive made mistakes But loving him seems so right Dont you understand what you mean to me? I remember the nights we shared You are my faith My strength I dont think these feelings will ever fade You were born a part of me Dont leave me Please promise youll always stay My biggest fear is losing you You were the one who pulled me through I was never any good at hiding anything These emotions I must show Please dont take him away from me His smile is all I need His love completes me Cant you see? He is the one who fullfills me. Life is precious But mine, is lost Life is beautiful But mine is torn Life is a rose But mine is filled with thorns Life is a roller coaster But mine is a nightmare Life is an adventure But mine is a disease Life is freedom But mine is a prison Life is a treasure But mine is dust Life soon ends But go on I must Life is hard But mine is harder Life dies out And so will mine. | | |
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